Nov 8, 2024
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A genuine thank you.

I want to sincerely thank everyone for the incredible support I’ve received since sharing my story. Like many, I felt helpless as the world seemed to spiral into darkness. But deep down, a small voice whispered that there was something I could do, a way to reclaim control amidst the chaos. So, I took a risk and opened up about a past that still haunts me.

When I shared my descent into darkness, I thought it would only reach a small circle on my social media. But now, just days later, so many of you have reached out saying I’ve helped or comforted you. I’ve come to realize that I can take the pain of my past and use it to make a positive impact. If that’s possible, then I’m more committed than ever to trying.

If my story has resonated with you, I’m truly honoured. And if my advice has made a positive difference in your life, it means more to me than words can express. I pour my heart and soul into my activism, and I promise I will never stop bringing the darkness into the light of truth.

Love, Cristina xoxo



Nov 6, 2024
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I fell down the alt-right pipeline. This is my story.

In the creeping reality of another Donald Trump presidency, people keep asking me, “Cristina, what are we going to do?” The truth is, I don’t have all the answers. I’ve spent hours staring at this screen, struggling to find the right words. So, I’ll start with honesty.

I fell down the alt-right pipeline. I was an extremist. Not anymore. Haven’t been for years. I don’t talk about it much because I’m ashamed of who I was. Back then, I was angry, bitter—and if I’m honest, weak. I was looking for something to latch onto, something that made sense in the chaos. I wanted answers, and the far-right offered them. They gave me a community, a sense of belonging, and a simple narrative that made me feel like I had control over my life. They gave me the enemy I could blame, the “truth” that explained everything. And for a time, I believed it.

But I’m not that person anymore. I’ve spent years working to unlearn the lies I believed, and it’s been a long, painful process. I’m not asking for sympathy; I don’t deserve it. But I want to share my story so you can understand how people in these circles think, from someone who was once “inside.”

It’s not easy to look back and see how far I’d fallen, but I’ve come to realize that sharing this truth might help others. There are so many who are still trapped in that web of fear, anger, and false certainty. And maybe, just maybe, by understanding where I came from, we can find a way to stop this cycle and help people find a better path.

I’m not here to blame anyone for my journey. This is about how we can all do better, be better—and help each other escape the lies that keep us divided.

Continue reading


 
Aug 11, 2024
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It’s a revolushow

♫: Secunda LoFi 
🍵: Sparkling water
😊: Feeling fine

I retooled my layout a bit. It features Eve 6, a band I adore and gatekeep way too much. If you’re looking for a band to obsess over, 10/10 would recommend. Most people know them from Inside Out because that was a massive hit in the 90s, and that’s a great song. But tbh, hyper relevisation is my comfort album. If you see me out and about with my airpods in, I’m probably listening to that. I know, I listen to things other than Dope? Scandal! Seriously though, hyper relevisation is an amazing album. Check it out when you have the chance.

Speaking of album reviews, I know I need to get on with reviewing every Dope studio album ever. Next up is Group Therapy, and I’m not mad about that at all. It’s in my top three Dope albums for a reason. It’s just that I’d been a bit burnt out, so writing’s been the last thing I’ve wanted to do. I don’t know that I have any advice to give in how to get over burnout. I think I’m still figuring it out myself. I’ve been trying to vary my interests, and get into some new things. Sometimes inspiration comes from unexpected places. Sometimes, it emerges when you realize how far you’ve come.

A friend recently asked me to return to a community I left for my mental health: Star Wars Galaxies. Back in the day, SWG was my escape when things were rough. It gave me a sense of community and a break from reality when I needed it most.

But here’s the thing: sometimes you have to realize when something that’s helped you before isn’t doing you any good anymore. For me, Star Wars Galaxies turned into something I needed to leave behind to take care of myself. I’m thankful for the things I learned as staff and for the people I met, but I had to step away from the toxic vibes in the community. People saw it when the game was live, and it’s still present today. Not everything will be in your life forever. Sometimes, you just need to move on. And that’s okay. As long as you’re moving *towards* something.

I may return. I may never play again. I guess what I’m trying to say is, sometimes inspiration even comes from revisiting the past. And re-affirming that you’re never going back. Ever. (Thanks, Kamala <3)



May 14, 2024
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Things I learned last year

A lil rambly blog about things I learned in my annus horribilis. (Well, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch. But it wasn’t the best year by any means.) That being said, looking at myself this time last year compared to now? I’m much happier. I learned a few truths between now and then: some stuff I wish I learned sooner. I’ll share a few with you.

People will ALWAYS tell on themselves.

  • As Maya Angelou once said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” This is for better and for worse! People who are really your people will seek to show you that whenever they can. Love them with all your heart. They’re the real ones. Those who aren’t your people? They’ll show that, too. The mask always drops eventually.

If it’s actively harming you… you aren’t getting a medal for staying.

  • A few months ago, I left a job at somewhere that shall remain nameless. For a long time, it was everything I needed. Until … it wasn’t. I was surrounded by people who actively resented me, communication was basically zero, and between the gaslighting and the harassment, I was pretty much miserable. I stayed a lot longer than most people would have expected. Until one day, it dawned on me: what the hell did I think I was doing, exactly? Ruining my mental health for a thankless job, among people who wouldn’t give me the time of day even if they were actively looking at their watch. I’m thankful for the experience and always will be, but when it’s time to go it’s time to go. It might be hard to say goodbye when it’s something that was once important to you, but trust: you will be better off for it. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is worth your mental health and self respect.

I don’t drink enough water

  • There’s nothing profound about this one. Just a fact. I’m trying to be better, though.

Also, I’m actively looking for things that enrich and delight me! I’ve been loving looking at these websites with cute pixel artwork. It’s exactly what you think.

Also also… have a cat. You ever get jealous of the way cats can sleep so soundly? I do. Boy, do I ever.



Mar 25, 2024
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Small update/layout change

Sorry for the lack of updates – I’ve been a bit pressed for time. Should be all good now, though!

I’ve changed to a new layout. I think this one will be up for awhile. I like it a lot.

I’ve also finished the Wayne Static and Static-X fanlistings, so please join if you are a fan!


  
Feb 18, 2024
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A comeback!

Hello, hello! And welcome to the revamped undevoted.org! It’s been lingering in my mind a long time that I wanted to do more with this domain, as for months it’s only existed to host my Edsel Dope fansite. (An important job, to be fair.) But I’ve always intended to do more with it, since I sincerely love this domain.

Lately, I’ve started amassing enough sites to start a proper collective and portfolio. Now it’s time to bring undevoted.org out from the shadows. I’ve done a lot of work on this site, but there’s still so much more to come. I’m glad you’re here! Take a look around. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Upcoming Sites:

Fanlisting: Edsel Dope
Fanlisting: Dope (band)